Bacon and Waffles Merchandise? :)

  You may be wondering this: what? There is such thing as breakfast merchandise? Well I'm going to tell you that the food that is on your plate in the morning at breakfast that the food has its own merchandise.
Enjoy!
Time for some bacon merchandise! BOOYAH! I'm kidding.... nope! YES! BACON! :D

       Here it is! Bacon bandages! When you are hurt and you need a bandage.....Bacon bandages always make it feel 100000000000000 times better than those regular old boring bandages!

Seriously.... I'm not one of those annoying advertizing spam salesmen you see in the mail, on your tv or computer.

ANYWHO! KIDS: DO NOT eat these bandages. When your throat hurts you think this might work but that's where you are wrong: eat bacon, not bacon bandages!

Here to your right is the right kind of beans, not the musical fruit kind, not that bad tasting kind or the kind with your work or cafeteria's mystery meat, no this has a great flavor with meat that you know what it is and it didn't come out of a possum's butt or the gas station toilet and it is no kind of fart burrito beans: it is bacon beans! I like the container mostly..... unfortunately the only container that is similar to this is a mustache..... now HOW RANDOM IS THAT?!?!?!?!?

Here is a bendable bacon action figure....I don't get why it is so angry or evil looking though. But I think he should be happy because he is a bacon action figure but if it was ever put in like some sort of daycare for infants or something like that I betcha he would immediately loose the smirk or smile after being chomped and chewed in toddlers' mouths/pieholes.... heck, you don't need to call the mouths pieholes... it would be most likely called BACONHOLES.... and you can also call fat bacon crazy people that too.

This bacon briefcase/ lunchbox would be perfect for any type of work, even cooking, dadmoms!

Here is a bacon alarm clock. I don't understand what the bacon does... I think it dances like it does when you take it fresh out of the fridge and put it into a frying pan or just a decoration. Bacon doesn't have to do much...No,  it doesn't have to do ANYTHING for people to like it and make a bunch of merchandise for it.

This little statement is very true. But I think bacon coke might be nasty.....and you want to know how this makes this drink nasty? I mean the bacon and coke part is good but the diet part just ruined the fattening delicious bacon part!

XD HAHAHA! So funny and true... let's just make sure that the temperature that day was 375 degrees!

Bacon earrings: Ladies: when you receive these, make sure you are wearing a bib or an old dress, make sure you are not wearing these on a hot day or else.... DON'T WEAR THESE IN PUBLIC ON A HOT DAY.... ESPECIALLY AROUND BACON PEOPLE, THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE BACON! I'm just kidding! Just don't get near pigs or else they will attack and get on airplanes and drop bombs on you.... and you don't want to know where they are from...............XD

Here is bacon toothpaste....I know they say you shouldn't swallow toothpaste but when bacon toothpaste is in your mouth...you just can't help yourself.........GULP!

These are bacon toothpicks! Yes, no more nasty wood tasting toothpicks at restaurants no more! You will enjoy having a toothpick in your mouth after meals like a boss!

Bacon balm! Bacon balm! Bacon balm!
Say it really fast and then it sounds like a song that you would hear if you were advertising bacon balm ads and really annoying spam!

Here is some cute bacon nails! Now here is an excuse for biting your nails! DA DUM DA! JUST KIDDING!

 And yes I know that was a horrible pun/joke or whateveryouwannacallitathingamajigger-thingy.

Here is a bacon phone cover....I really don't know what to talk about this one.........0-o

This is just super retarded about this bacon platter to put bacon on. Here is a play about this bacon platter:

Dumb person: Hey, this stupid bacon platter to put bacon on is soooo stupid and retarded!
The Bacon Man: What's wrong with it? It's bacon for Pete's sake!

Dumb Person: but when some one is eating off this platter couldn't they eat the platter and choke on it and die on accident?

(the dumb person's brother comes in, eats the bacon off the bacon platter than eats then eats the bacon platter that looks like actual bacon where it is only supposed to look like bacon, not really bacon and chokes on it and dies) -and wow did I say the word bacon a lot!
Dumb person: you will be hearing from my lawyers, Bacon man!
Bacon man punches dumb person and says: no one talks about bacon and insults and underestimates the power of the bacon side!

XD!

 Here is bacon pop. Man! Do I wish there could be such thing in the movie theatres.
SIGH.... But I'm not sharing any baconpop at my house with anyone when it is movie time!

Here are some bacon shoes. My favorite bacon shoes is the one on the right. the one above this statement is just....too cooked... heck, it doesn't look that much bacony any more!

Here is a bacon wallet. Yes, how lucky we are to have a bacon wallet to store all of our money and cards!

This is how I am when mom says, "We are having bacon for dinner as breakfast dinner and----"
Then I yell that on the top of my lungs, which is made out of bacon after smoking, not the BAD kind, the kind when I'm on fire after touching the frying pan with bacon cooking on it on the stove.

I think this cup should not have the egg on here...the bacon makes this cup great because any drink you put in this cup makes it tastes good. Bacon always makes anything in the universe better!

Well this gummy bacon doesn't make any sense....shouldn't the gummy bacon be bacon flavored...not strawberry. Or maybe the pig on the box is just too darn scared.

Here  is something that kids (and adults) can enjoy, an adorable bacon plush!


Now it's time for waffles, say goodbye, bacon plush!


<------------------- br="" bye="">

WAFFLES! Here is some waffle earrings. But I don't get it! There is more circle waffles more than square waffles in the world right?
WAFFLE GIRL: DON'T TALK ABOUT WAFFLES IN THAT TONE!
ME: WHO YOU TALKIN TO? Y U NO LET ME EAT WAFFLES FOR PETE SAKE!
WAFFLE GIRL: WHO'S PETE?
ME: FACE PALM!
WAFFLE GIRL: THERE IS SUCH THING AS FACE PALM TREES! HOPEFULLEY THEY ARE NOT AS UGLY AND RETARDED AS BACON!
(Bacon man comes in and beats up waffle girl)
Me: I COULD HAVE SWORN WE WERE DONE TALKING ABOUT BACON!
BACON MAN: IT'S WAFFLE TIME! YOU ARE RIGHT! THEN I SHOULD GET OUT OF HERE!

It's waffle time!

Here is a waffle maker, I have a Scooby Doo one.

Here are some more waffle earrings. This one is better because it looks more realistic. And there is butter on it, not butt, not ter, but butter!

I don't understand why this waffle is so happy. Hey, waffle Y U NO B HAPPY!

Sad waffle hat: Y U NO B HAPPY!











Now I understand why waffle is so sad! Mean little y u no meme! Y U  No B Nice?

Here is a RAINBOW WAFFLE?!?!?  WHAT IS THIS? MY LITTLE PONY? This is either a rainbow waffle or a unicorn puked on a waffle... actually this is a hippie puking. Unicorns leave glitter on their puke!

Here is some awesome Star Trek limited edition waffles! I want the Spock one!





WELL, THAT'S ALL FOLKS, NEXT TIME I WILL SHOW YOU THE SIMPSONS MERCHANDISE AND DONUTS!  -RAVEN SHADOWS